Christmas songs...a new perspective

yes, its that beautiful time of year, the lovely Christmas season!  So many memories come back of my Christmas' "down on the farm".  Going to Christmas Eve mass, headed to my grandmas after that, going home and "just missing" Santa flying by.  Scurrying up to bed..all those awesome kid memories.  Well....now I'm an adult.  I still love Christmas, but Christmas music seems to have changed a bit over the years.  Maybe not changed a bit, but as I have "matured" (I use that word loosely), I've begun to notice some songs that may need a bit of the ol' Twin Treatment.  Following is my list of songs that either needed banned for all eternity, or songs that you might want to take a "second glance" at.

"Do you hear what I hear?"
this is a beautiful song, especially when Carrie Underwood sings it.  Its so sweet, so nice to listen to.  However....have you ever really listened to the lyrics.  Let me enlighten you.

Said the shepard boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know
In your palace wall mighty king
Do you know what I know
A child, a child
Shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold
Let us bring him silver and gold

Said the king to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say
Pray for peace people everywhere
Listen to what I say
The child, the child
Sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light

OKAY, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!!  Hey, shepherd boy, you're not too bright, are you.  Knowing that the "shepherd' job was pretty much the lowest ranking job in society back then, it shouldnt surprise me.  Heres the thing.  You say "a child, a child, shivers in the cold, let us bring him silver and gold".  Hey, genius, why dont you bring a BLANKET to the freezing child.  Thanks, braniac, baby Jesus is going to get pneumonia if you dump a bunch of germ-infested money onto him.  Oh, and that King that you just told???  That would be King Herod.  Know how much he loved the news of a king being born in a palace???  he didnt say "he will bring us goodness and light"  He said "kill all the sons under the age of 2".  Way to go shepherd boy!

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus"
Ok, this song is pretty tame, but umm...WHAT?  You snuck out of bed and caught mom in a torrid affair and you say "Oh what a laugh it would have been , if daddy had only seen".  No...kid...reality check. If daddy had seen, there would be carnage and police all over your house.  You can forget about that bike you asked for, its being taken in as evidence.

"jingle bells"
Again, I thought this was relatively tame, until I actually read the lyrics.  Do you know the lyrics to the second verse?  Let me enlighten you.  The guy picks up a chick, and her name is Fannie Bright.  really??  Fannie Bright???  I dont want to know what her side job is.  They get stuck in the snow.  Hmmm....stuck in the snow with Fannie Bright?  Me thinks that wasnt an accident.   hehehehe

"Its the Most wonderful time of the year"
This is a fun one, but theres a line in it that I've never understood.  It goes "They'll be scarey ghost stories and tales of the glory of Christmas' long long ago".  Ok, am I missing some sort of tradition?  How many of you, instead of reading the Bible Christmas story or perhaps Twas the night before Christmas, read scarey ghost stories to your kids?  "Hey kids, Santa is actually code for Zombie, and he's gonna come down the chimney and eat you!"  Merry Christmas, off to bed!

"Santa Claus is coming to town"
Ok, other than the obvious creepiness of this song (Santa Claus is obviously working for the CIA)  The Pendley version goes like this
"You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout I'm telling you why
Cause mom and dad arent afraid to spank your butt"

"12 days of Christmas"
This song is off the hook crazy.  I understand that theres some kind of special meaning to all the gifts, but I dont care.  I'm taking them all at face value.  Do you realize that there are 5 flippin days before the man gets anything decent for his wife?  Up until the golden rings, all she got is a bunch of flippin birds to take care of.  And then right after the rings, he goes back to the birds with flipping geese.  Geese are pretty much the meanest birds on the planet.  Lets buy 6 of them!  Hooray!!!!   And then he brings home "Maids a milking"  Hey honey, your next present is a bunch of harlets and they brought their cows!!!!!  YIPPEEE!!!!  Ohh, however, he does bring home a bunch of "lords a leapin"   WTH?  Lords a leapin?  Makes me question whats making those boys leap.  My best guess would be they are leaping all over the bird poop thats now covered the house.

"Baby its cold outside"
I love this song, I really do.  But, do you realize he drugs this chick?  I didnt know they had Roofies 'back in the day'.  Theres a line in it that says " Say, whats in this drink?"  see, he drugged her.  Wrong, Bing Crosby, thats just WRONG!


Thats just my take on a few songs.  Feel free to add your own!!!!!!!  Have a very Merry Christmas!  And watch out for that Eggnog!

Angie

Positive Reinforcement

I've had this blog idea bouncing around in my head for a number of days, so let's see if I can spit it out.


 I firmly believe this world would be a much better place, if we all ran on the "Positive Reinforcement" model.  Some examples would be-


"Excuse me, fine citizen.  Do you know why I pulled you over?" 
"No, fine officer, why is that?"
" Well, I saw that you were the only fine citizen not driving like a drunken monkey through the construction site.  Here is a coupon for a free ice cream cone. *wink wink*  Carry on fine citizen!"


At the doctors office-

"Well hello, fine patient of mine.  I see that you walked in here with your severed head in a bag and didn't demand pain meds.  Here, this is a script for loritab.  Take two of them with a shot of vodka.  Send yourself on a little mini- vacation without even leaving your living room." 
As opposed to "Hello crack head patient of mine.  I see you are demanding anxiety meds because your neighbors dog won't stop barking.  Here, this is a script for "Suck it up sweetheart" and a gun permit.  I think you know what to do."


At the school

"well hello fine parent.  I see that you are the only parent who hasn't called to harass me about homework, lunches, my shoe size, and my middle name.  Here is a free pass on having to sign the 400 parent forms that I will be sending home in the next 2 days."
" well thank you, fine teacher of my child."


Seriously, the world would be a much better place if they would only put anti-depressants in the water system like they do fluoride!

We either laugh or.......we shoot the neighbors dog.

The right way....or else

Well, its been awhile since I've blogged about anything, but this morning finds me in quite the sarcastic mood, so hey, lets blog.
Anyone that has followed my facebook posts for any amount of time, knows that I absolutely HATE dropping my kids off at school (and picking them up).  Hate it, abhor it, would rather spill my own blood than do it.  Why? you may ask???  I'll explain it to you in the best way I know how....drumroll please....

The Right Way....When getting  your child ready for school, before you put them in your vehicle, check to make sure they are fully dressed.  Clothes, shoes, socks...not that hard.  Make sure they have their backpack in order and fully zipped.
The Wrong Way...Throw your kid in the car in their pajamas and have them get dressed on the way to school.  Put their backpack in the trunk with all the contents spilling out.  Lock trunk, put padlock on trunk, sit elephant on trunk..drive to school like a bat out of hell.

The Right Way.....When placing your child in the vehicle, make sure they are sitting in the seat closest to the door that they will be exiting.

The Wrong Way....Stuff your kid under the seat, tie them down with chains

The Right Way...When entering the school lot, get into the drop-off lane and wait your turn.  Slowly make your way up to the school.

The Wrong Way...screech into the parking lot, get into the left lane, bypass all the vehicles waiting their turn in the drop off lane, pull up to the school and completely stop traffic as your little angel weaves in-between cars to get to the door.  Of course, if your little angel gets hit by a car, you would have the right to sue the snot out of the driver, the school, the corporation, the highway dept, and President Obama. It would have NOTHING to do with your negligence at all.

The Right Way...once you get up to the school door, have your kid unbuckle and hop out.

The Wrong Way...Once you get up to the school, YOU exit the vehicle, run around the car like a Japanese fire drill, unbuckle your kid that evidently cant do it themselves, talk to your kid, put their shoes on for them, knit them a sweater, recite the pledge, change the oil in your car....all the while ignore the people behind you that are waiting to leave. 

If you are one of the parents that like to walk your child up to the school from the parking lot, then...

The Right Way...park your car in one of the designated parking spots.  Walk to crosswalk.  Wait for Principal to wave you through, pick up your kid.

The Wrong Way...park wherever you flippin feel like.  Not a spot available, make your own.  Better yet, park in the drop-off lane and then walk up to the school.  Dont worry about the rest of us behind you, I assure you we have nothing better to do than to sit and wait on you.  Go get your child, chatty chat with the teacher, give the principal an apple, reconstruct Noahs Ark out of toothpicks, learn a foreign language, then meander back to your car.

Exiting the parking lot....

The Right Way...wait your turn, drive about 3 mph, take RIGHT turn out of parking lot, drive slowly until you get out of the school zone.

The Wrong Way...peel out of your parking spot, flip off other parents, wedge your car sideways in the drop-off lane so that nobody can get around you, attempt to make LEFT hand turn around the orange barrels and cones, cause accident on 18th st (one of the busiest streets in Lafayette), cuss everyone out, sue the principal, the school, the corporation, the highway department, and President Obama.

People, my tolerance with this is VERY,VERY thin.  I have an 8 passenger Suburban..it eats tiny cars for snacks and mini-vans for dinner.  Cut me off again..I dare you.

Its either we laugh, or we....homeschool.  hehehe

Angie

Fun facts about the Twins

I'm bored.  How bout I write a blog post!?  Funny, maybe funny, strange, weird, ironic facts about Me and My Twin.


1.  We were born exactly 30 minutes apart.  Our poor mother.  I was breech.  This was back in the day when they just went ahead and had the moms deliver the breech babies.  I showed my best side to the world from the get go.

2.  We were shipped to Riley Childrens Hospital after we were born.  Mom and Dad hadn't named us yet, so we were Baby A, and Baby B.

3.  Angie, Twin 1, has a degree in Law Enforcement.  Chrissy, me Twin 2, has a degree in teaching Special Education.  We are both now Board Registered Polysomnographists.

4.  Our husbands both have the same ex-girlfriend. 

5.  Growing up, it was predicted that Angie would have a million pets and maybe a few kids, Chrissy would have a million kids and maybe a few pets.  Now that we're adults, Angie has a million kids and two pets.  Chrissy has one kid and a million pets.

6.  We were room mates in college.  This was NOT by choice to begin with.  They roomed us together because they processed the dorm applications in the order they were received.  Since they received ours at the same time, they put us in the same room.  We were told once we got to college, we could request new roommates.  Once we GOT to college, we decided to just stay together since we didn't know anyone else.

7.  The nick names Twin 1, and Twin 2, were given to us by our neighbors at college.  They couldn't remember our names, so they just named us Twin 1 and Twin 2 and the nick names stuck.  To this day, I SWEAR there are still people from college that don't know our names.

8.  We both met our husbands in the same place at college.  Campus Ministries.

9.  We are both in love with Notre Dame football, Adam Levine, and chocolate.

10.  We both despised every single minute of high school and don't feel like we really came to life until we left. College, on the other hand, was a freakin hoot.  LOVED every minute of college.

11.  We have matching twin tattoos. 


I'm tired, I can't think of any more. 

It's either we laugh, or we moon the mailman.


Chrissy

I've had too much caffeine

So, we are getting ready to complete our yearly home study update for adoption.  It's something that has to be done each year to keep us eligible for adoption.  Anyway, I have been thinking of crazy things kids say and I have decided to write down the WORST things kids could say during a home study.

1.  "Mommy drinks ALOT after the nice church ladies leave."

2.  "Those child proof tops on Mommys Happy Meds are REALLY easy to get off."

3.  "Mommy told me before you got here if I touched anything in the house she would rip my arms off and feed them to the dog."

4.  "Mommy says she really hopes you don't look in the attic 'cause that's where she keeps the instruments of torture."

5.  "Mommy threatened Daddy with bodily harm and possible death if he didn't get off his lazy butt and help her clean the house."

6.  "Mommy doesn't kiss Daddy like she does "Uncle Charlie."

7.  "Mommy took a triple dose of meds before you came here this morning.  She says she hopes you don't notice her pupils are fixed and dilated."

8.  "Mommy said if I don't tell you that I'm a happy kid and love my home that she would lock me in a closet and feed me nothing but bread and water for a week."

9.  "Mommy says she hopes you don't get in the special drawer in her bedroom that has some funny lotions in it. "

10.  "Mommy says she's going to jump off the roof if she has to do one more *&^% home study."

11. " Sometimes when Mommy and Daddy are sleeping, I like to play scientist with all the cleaning products I can find."

12.  "Last week, my baby brother was eating out of the litter box and Mommy said that which does not kill us makes us stronger."

13.  "Yesterday, the cat bit my baby brother, and as he was bleeding all over the place, Mommy called the vet to get the cats shots updated for the first time in 5 years."

14.  "Last week, Daddy complained about dinner and Mommy threw the food across the kitchen and told Daddy to make his own (*&^ dinner next time."


I'm not right in the head.  For the record...my kid has only said ONE of these in public.  I will let you guess which one.

Small Boy Training Camp...I'm a genius

4 small boys...........4 small boys.............4 FLIPPIN SMALL BOYS!!!!!  Lord almighty, I love my sons, but today is one of those days where I'm sitting here at the end of the day wondering "What the hell just happened".  The events of today got me thinkin.....There is a missing niche in the market, and I think I've discovered it.  Its called "Small Boy training camp".  No, its not for small boys...its for the PARENTS of small boys.  Seriously, I think every ultrasound tech should be ready with brochures.  When they detect a boy is to be born, the tech can hand out the brochure and say "A certificate of completion is required before we let you take your boy home, in ten years you'll thank us"  

Upon arrival, you may notice that this is not your "typical" camp.  Its in a warehouse.  A warehouse of PAIN!  You will enter the Pain Zone (PZ for short) and immediately be hit in the face with a stick.  Why?  What did you do to deserve this?  Absolutely nothing.  You need to get used to that sting, cuz you're going to feel it every day for at least 10 years.  See, when  you put a stick into a Small Boys (SB) hands, it immediately becomes a tool of destruction.  Its not a magical wand, a conductors baton, or a drum stick...its a WEAPON FOR CAUSING PAIN!  The same with baseball bats, play swords (which hurt really bad and makes me wonder who the heck thought of such torture devices), and the neighbors cat.  All of these and many more will immediately turn your angel into a demon.  You've been warned.

Once your face stops throbbing, its onto hardware.  This is for you dads out there.  I dont care if you are a handy man, you're gonna have to know some things before you bring your SB home.  If you dont know them, then you need to have some serious cash stashed away for the handy man you will have to call.  First up...toilets.  Each man will be timed on how long it takes them to snake, snake again, give up on snaking, rip the toilet out, retrieve the object (and yes, it will be an object), replace the wax ring, and put the toilet on again.  I'm proud to say that Andy has this down to usually under 10 minutes.  He's a flippin PRO at it.  You get points taken off if you become nauseous at any time.  After toilets, its the sinks.  You need to figure out how to get various items out that your SBs have managed to get into a drain.  Paper towel, lego men, toothbrushes, and chicken nuggets have all been squished down my bathroom sink. 

While the men are busy playing with hardware, its the womens turn.  Ladies, this is where it helps to be slightly psychotic.  You need to learn to think on your feet.  First lesson....language arts. Here you will learn the art of saying "stop hitting your brother" in 4 different languages and tones.  One of them may be effective with your SB. You will also learn how to come up with diseases and maladies that dont exist or will never happen.  You need to think fast and make it as gruesome as possible.  For example, say your SB wants to jump off something that is a bit too high.  I assure you, a simple "No, you might get hurt" is not going to persuade them that it is a bad idea.  Its more like this "if you jump off of that object, than your leg is going to fall off, your eyeballs will bleed, and you'll have to poop into a bag for the rest of your life".  You have to be as deadly serious as you possibly can.  NO LAUGHING!!!!!  Same goes for insects, if you dont know the name of the bug, make it up and make it as deadly as possible.  "If you touch that Beetle Raptor, then it'll bite you and you'll get these horrible bleeding spots all over  your body and theres no medicine for it and then you die".  See, its as easy as that.
 After you have learned how to speak in tongues, its onto crafts.  Each woman will be given a "girly" craft...the women will be timed on how quickly they can turn that girly craft into a manly craft.  Most little boys HATE girlie things.  For example, last year I registered Eli for VBS.  When we arrived, he was given a nametag with a corresponding insect on it.  Eli was quite upset that he was put in the "girly butterfly group".  I quickly grabbed a marker and his name tag.  I drew fangs on the butterfly and said "There, now you are in the butterfly vampire group".  He was ECSTATIC! 

Next, the men and women will join back up.  As you walk through the PZ, you may notice dispensers on the walls.  These dispensers contain little white or peach-colored pills.  These are the Xanax dispensers, and no men, they arent for you, they are for your wives.  Men, you need to calmly walk your wife to these dispensers and say that its chocolate for mommies.  Men, you dont get any because its your punishment for putting your mothers through whatever it is that you did when you were younger.  That'll teach you!!!!!!!!

Now its time for a group activity.  Men, when you signed in, you were asked for your occupation.  Each men will be taken to his designated work area (cubicle with complex computer, cars for mechanics, farm equipment, whatever it is that you do).  Calmly start doing your job.  At any given moment, something horrible will happen to that equipment.  At the same time, your wives will begin texting you.  The texts will look something like this "HELP, I NEED YOUR HELP, THE BOYS DID THIS AND THAT AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH AND ITS YOUR FAULT!"  Men, you need to concentrate on both issues at hand.  Should you neglect to answer your wives texts, then a phone call will follow.  I assure you, you DONT want the phone call. 

Next, we're going to play the SB version of "Telephone".  Remember that game when you were younger?  You'd get a line of people, a phrase would start on one end and then end up all jumbled by the time it got to the other end?  The SB version will put husband against wife.  Wives, you will be put into a room with several SB's.  Husbands, you call your wives with very important information.  Wives, you are awarded points as to how accurate you are with your husbands info.  While your husband is speaking, the SBs will be kicking you, tugging on your clothes, throwing cake batter at their brothers, chasing a hamster, pretending to be spiderman on the walls, and yelling "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THE TOILETS BROKE AGAIN!".  You cannot ignore the SB's, as they will only get louder until you address them.  (and you wonder why I like email and texting)

The last training exercise is for Mom and Dad.  Its called "What is that spot on the wall?".  Each couple will be given multiple tiles of dried "stuff".  Each will need to be correctly identified and bonus points will be given if either one knows how to remove it without damaging the wall.  Some examples will be oatmeal, chocolate, ketchup, oreo, blood, etc. 

Once you have completed all the exercises, you will be awarded with nothing.  Yep, not a darn thing.  However, you will be allowed to take your SB home from the hospital, which in itself is enough reward :)


I love my sons.  I love them so much :)  And, this is going to make me millions......


Its either we laugh or....we go to BED!

Angie

when it works, it's beautiful

You get a phone call in the wee hours of the morning.  "She's in labor" they say, "Are you ready to be a mommy?"  You thought you were ready until that phone call.  It's real, it's really going to happen.  You get up, pace around, look in your closet and ask your husband "What exactly does one wear to the birth of their child?"  "Why aren't you getting dressed? Why are you in bed?" you ask manically.  He groans not quite ready for the drama of all this so early.  "Can I at least get a shower?" he says.  Not soon enough, you are on the road to the hospital. For some, it's by plane, some by car.  We were lucky in that it took us no time to get there.  Then begins the delicate balance of walking the line between birth mom and adoptive mom.  The nurses aren't sure what to make of the whole situation.  The birth mom is fabulous in keeping you involved in all the details.  "This is your baby I'm having" she says, and you melt all over again.  "It's going to be a while" they say.  "If you want to go to church and come back, it will be fine. "  What?  Go to church?  And leave?  How could I possibly leave!?  It's MY baby being born!!!!!  After many hours, they say "At least go and get something to eat so you don't pass out. "  so, you leave, and go out into the world, and you wonder how people can act so normal when a miracle is taking place right down the street.  You get back, wait some more. Finally they say, "It's time.  Only one of you can go back."  Of course it's you.  The hubbs can fend for himself.  You walk into the surgery room, and there she is with a drape in front of her so we can't see what's going on.  "Are you ok?" you ask.  "I'm numb" she says.  And then it's procedure and blah blah blah and all of sudden a baby screams and you burst into tears.  And then she's in your arms.  The most perfect, beautiful creature you have ever laid your eyes on.  It's your daughter.  All 6 lbs, 8 oz 18 3/4 inches of her.  And she's looking at you.  But you can't see much 'cause all you can do is cry and snot all over the place.  "She's beautiful" you say for the 100th time, and the nurses all smile at you.  Then it's off to the nursery for her, and you to the hallway to see the family.  You fall into your husbands arms and you both cry.  "She's beautiful" you say...again.  Then you get to see her through the glass and lo and behold, they ask if you want to give her her first bath.  Of course!  And then she's in your arms again and all is right with the world.  The hubbs is climbing the walls wanting to hold her.  Finally, he is able to give her the first bottle, and all is right with the world.  Days go by, you stay in the hospital because you don't want to miss a moment. Then it's time and you wonder how it's possible that they are just going to let you walk out the doors with this precious angel.  But they do, and it's onto a new life.  Some time goes by, and the judge says "She's yours."  Of course, you have known this all along.  From the moment of the first cry.  She's all yours, and always will be.   This, my friends, is the BEAUTY of adoption.  And this, is why we continue to fight.  For when you experience that miracle once, you can't help but want to do it again.  I love you Micaiah Hope Sholty.

keepin it real

You get a phone call in the middle of the day and your heart stops in it's tracks.  It's "her".  Your adoption consultant.  She only calls if there's news.  There's 2 kids that need homes NOW.  Would you be willing to take them?  You freeze, your heart skips several beats, and you suddenly want to vomit.  Of course, of course we will take them.  Meeting tomorrow morning with the agency?  Sure, we will make it happen. What to do...what to do?  You walk in circles, call those closest to you.  Try not to get excited they say.  You've been hurt enough.  Of course I won't.  In actuality, you already have the names picked out.  You know who you can get clothes, toys, a bed from.  Try not to get your heart set on it.  It's just a meeting.  In actuality, you have their education and their life story already planned.  You don't sleep a wink that night thinking of "them".  What do they look like?  Will they love us?  The meeting takes forever.  You suddenly have spastic colon and want to throw up.  Am I coming across as good enough?  Do they see how much I love this man beside me?  Do they see what an amazing man and father he is?  The cost?  oh...the cost.  That's fine.  We will figure it out.  We will sell all of our possessions and move into a shack if need be.  Kids are worth it right?  You leave feeling like you've been hit by a truck.  The meeting was fabulous, you debate about whether or not to tell the other little one in your life.  You get home, want to sleep but so much to do.  Coffee it is!  Then, the phone call again.  Your head spins, you pace, you beg God to make this happen.  It's too perfect you have said so many times in the past 24 hours.  Oh, someones talking to me.  Oh...Oh...ok, I see.  And the world stops turning.  It's not going to happen.  We don't fit the mold of what they are looking for. Suddenly the names, the plans, the hope disappears, and once again, you are left with a hole the size of Texas in your heart. This, sadly, is the reality of adoption.  It's the ups, the downs, the severe downs.  You have been taught to praise the Lord even in horrible circumstances.  What you really want to do is crawl into the bottom of that old Tequilla bottle and don't come out.  Put on the happy face.  Dry the tears in front of the kiddos.  And you move on and continue to fight when every ounce of your being wants to give up.  Adoption, in its purest form, is one of the most beautiful experience this world can offer.  The road is hard, though.  We're taking a break...licking our wounds....rethinking every decision made in this journey...and contemplating whether or not we have what it takes to continue.  It's a time in life when we don't want to discuss it.  We don't want to hear how it will "all work out" in the end.  That God has a child for us.  I don't want to hear it right now.  I've had enough Christianese for a year.  What I know, is that my God is good.  He is a just God and I love him.  I am mad as hell at him right now, but I deeply love him and he knows that.

Soooo, you get paid to watch people sleep?

Yeah, we hear this all the time.  We arent offended by it by any means, but I thought I'd take a few minutes to let everyone out there know what it is that Twin and I actually do :)  We are both RPSGT's, which stands for Registered Polysomnogram Technologist.  Say that three times while spinning in circles..I dare you!!  Its a fancy name for Sleep Tech.  What is it that we do?  Well, we get paid to watch people sleep.  TAA DAAAAA!  ok, no, really, we do lots of stuff while our patients are sleeping.  Lets discuss sleep apnea for a minute.

Sleep Apnea is essentially when you stop breathing in your sleep.  Heres what happens if you have sleep apnea.  YOU DIE!  ok, maybe not instantly, but it can lead to a whole lotta nastiness if left untreated.  When you fall asleep, your muscles relax.  This includes the muscles in the back of your throat and surrounding areas.  If you have sleep apnea, when these muscles and tissue relax, they collapse, cutting off your airway.  This makes your oxygen level drop, which prompts your brain to say "Hey, wake up and breathe!".  You take another breath or two, your body relaxes again, and your throat closes off.  When your oxygen level drops, your heart rate increases.  When your level goes back to normal, it decreases.  Its been compared to running a marathon in your sleep (but you dont get the physical benefits of running the marathon).  Most people havent the foggiest idea that they have sleep apnea, they just know that they are tired all of the time.  Many patients come in and say "Well, my spouse says I snore really loud and that I stop breathing, but I think I'm fine".  We hook them up, and no, they arent fine, they are half a beat away from death.  I've honestly had some nights where I stare at a patient and wonder how in the world they are still on this earth.  Sleep apnea leads to high blood pressure, obesity, impaired cognitive skills, chronic fatigue, and on and on. 

How do we treat it?  Well, theres this crazy little invention called CPAP.  Continuous Positive Airway Pressure.  CPAP is this little machine that sits beside the bed.  We hook a hose to the machine, with the other end going to a face mask that we fit you for.  When we turn it on, it filters room air through the machine, to the hose, to the mask.  This air goes into your nose, down your throat, into your lungs.  When the air reaches those muscles/tissue that have collapsed, it forces its way through, opening those muscles and holding them open.  This keeps your airway open, which regulates your oxygen level, heartbeat, etc.  At this point in the study, Twin and I both usually yell "BOOM! SAVED YOUR LIFE!".  Everyone has a certain level of air pressure that keeps the airway open, so part of our job is to work with different levels and see which one works best for you.

How do we do it?  Well, we are the awesome super twins, so we can do anything!!!!!!!!  hehehe  I took some pics last night, so I'll share those with you. 

Head Box

This is our main head box.  See all those little wires?  The majority of those go on your head in various places.  These are EEG leads.  They monitor your brain waves which lets us know when you are awake, asleep, and what stages of sleep you are getting into.  We put some on your head and face.  Theres also a bunch more monitors that we put on your neck, chest, abdomen, finger, and legs.  Its takes the average tech about a half-hour to hook all of the monitors on.  At some point during this time, its an absolute guarantee that the patient will ask "So, you really expect me to sleep with all of this on?".  We shake our head and laugh like its the first time we've ever been asked.  Honestly though, if I had a quarter for every time I've been asked that, I'd be much richer.  hahahahaha 

Heres a pic of my cart after I've got everything laid out to hook someone up.

Lots of goo and sticky stuff goes all over your body.  Its pretty awesome to rip off in the morning, especially if your crabby or rude to me!!!!!!!!  So, be nice to your sleep techs or you'll be missing hair in the morning!!!

Heres our tech room.  Its messy and cluttered, but we love it :)  It has a tv, which is AWESOME.  Twin and I always sit next to each other.  If someone gets in between us, we harass them until they leave the lab crying.  hehe  No, maybe not, but we think about it. 

And heres the main part of our job, what we stare at all night long until we are quite sure we are going blind.

All of those pretty monitors we put on you send all these pretty lines to our computers.  The top two are monitoring your eyes, as your eyes will twitch when you are in REM sleep (which is why its called Rapid Eye Movement).  The next 7 lines are your brain waves.  Depending on the shape and size of them, we can tell when you are awake, asleep, or fighting the zombie apocalypse.  The next two are your chin monitors.  They also change during REM sleep.  The next three are the belts that we put around  your chest and abdomen.  They go up and down with each breath you take.  If/when they go flat, it means you arent getting the signal to breath, which is a whole other problem.  The next red line is the cpap machine line.  This person is on cpap, so I make sure that line stays nice and wavy.  When it goes flat, I know theres an obstruction and its time to raise the pressure level.  The next two are leg monitors.  They check for restless leg syndrome.  Fun times!!!  Then you have two ekg lines, followed by your oxygen level and respiration levels.  The numbers on the bottom are associated with the cpap machine, what level you are on and what the leak is for the mask.  (for all you privacy law people out there, you can see I took this pic at an angle that does not show any patient information)

So, this is what we do while you are sleeping :)  Its an awesome job, and Twin and I both love it. 

Its either we laugh or...we laugh at our patients when they are sleeping!!!!!

Angie

adoption opportunity

I just took some ambien, so lets hope I can get this out before it kicks in. Such is the life of a sleep tech/mom/wife. I have NO circadian rhythm. Ok, so the sweet sweet Jennea is hosting an arbonne party for us this weekend. This darling woman is donating 20% of the proceeds to our adoption. If you haven't heard of or seen Arbonne, it is AMAZING YUMMY STUFF for health, body, and life. The make up is FABULOUS! I realize many of you won't be able to make it to the party, so here is the online information.

www.arbonne.com, enter ID #19980211 in the top right hand corner. Click login. (there is no password needed)

thank you to all of you! Please Please do not think I will be "offended" or not name my baby after you if you can't go. There will be many many opportunites, give aways, fund raisers etc. in the ffuture. I thank the Lord for each and every one of you every day.



its we either laugh or......we buy make up! whoop whoop!


chrissy

I think I just peed my pants!!!!!

In the words of my beloved Pastor WOAH BABY!!!! We JUST received an email from our angel Gertrude in Haiti. Gertrude is the head of the orphanage that has baby Alvarez. She is doing a private adoption for us!!!!! We're getting our little boy!!!!!! God is SO AMAZING!!! We're also inquiring about the little girl, Kendina!!!! I have NO idea what the cost is, but we're GOING for it with God in the lead!!!! Best news ever! Also, she said we can have this done in NINE MONTHS!!!! NINE MONTHS!!!! It's like I JUST got pregnant!!!! Can you all imagine?! NINE months and they could be home WITH ME! IN MY ARMS! I'm just shaking and having a heck of a time typing this. First things for us to do is to apply for passports and do an international home study. WHOOP WHOOP!!!!! God has answered our prayers!!!!!!


It's either we laugh or......idk...we just laugh and thank our God!!!

chrissy

Sitting on yellow

I wish I could say more to update about our adoption process, but we're still just sittin ducks right now. We're waiting on some sort of information to let us know which direction we need to proceed. Do we send the agency our application and money? Or do we sit tight and see if Baby Alvarez is going to be eligible for a private adoption? We're just waiting....and waiting....and waiting. I am at peace, I guess. I want information, however, this ain't my first rodeo when it comes to adoption. I know full well that we will get the information and direction when it's time. I feel like I'm sitting at a yellow light, revving my engine, ready to go all gang busters on this, but God is just saying WAIT!!! HANG ON!!! I WILL TELL YOU WHEN TO GO! So....I wait, and pray, and wait and pray some more. It's the calm before the storm , I know. As soon as I know something, all you praying for us will know something. Until then, PLEASE continue to pray for us. Specifically, please pray that we get some definite answers soon as to how to proceed with all this.

Love you all,

chrissy

Adoption Update

Been a while since I updated, so here we go. Studly received an email on Saturday from a lady who said she was a friend of Gertrudes. Gertrude is the head of the orphanage in Haiti. Anyway, this lady volunteers for HealingHaiti and said she could help in the process of adopting Alvarez. Now, as a refresher, Alvarez is the original baby that drew us to consider Haiti. We had been told that we couldn't be guaranteed Alvarez because of the waiting list and so on. We were also told by the adoption agency that they don't have an official working relationship with Gertrudes orphanage. So, all of this is confusing, and I hope you are following me. But, in just reading this, you can see why Tom and I have not sent in the official application yet. We are dealing with the Haitian government here and we want to make sure everything is legit before we start sending money and applications down there. In a nut shell, this is what we found out tonight. Up to this point, Gertrude has been doing private adoptions only. Apparently, there are many people who are pushing for her to change that and place the children with an agency. She has not decided what she wants to do yet. This woman who emailed us is going down to visit Gertrude at the end of this month and will have an answer when she gets back. So, this is where we are at. If we want Alvarez, we have to wait a few more weeks for Gertrude to decide what she is going to do. If she wants to do private adoption only, then we wait until Alvarez is declared eligible for adoption, and then we adopt him from her. If she decides to place him with an agency, we roll the dice and see if we get him. If we don't care which child we get, then we go ahead and send in the application and $200. At this point, we have decided to wait and see what Gertrude decides. We really feel as though Alvarez is who drew us to Haiti in the first place, we want to see if we can adopt him. Waiting a few weeks is not going to kill me. It's driving me nuts, but it won't kill me. so, there you have it! Our adoption update!


chrissy

I dont feel like laughing today

Hello everyone out there in the universe :) Well, this morning finds me brainstorming, well, trying to brainstorm at least. Twin and I need some help! We need some ideas on how to raise some money for this Haiti baby. Like my Twin posted earlier, the advertisement thing didnt work out. Evidently, the "powers that be" dont appreciate you actually being successful at getting people to click on the ads. Whatever. We may start shopping around for a different blog space, but until then, I'll lick my wounds and move on. Chris and Tom are still working on getting officially "matched" with an agency. Once they do, they can go ape crazy with applying for grants. We will be doing another yardsale, on a smaller scale this time, hopefully in the spring.

I'm going to be blunt with you. I havent asked my Twin permission to do this, but I'm going to do it anyway. My Twin telepathy is telling me that she wont mind. My telepathy is rarely wrong. Anyway, we need to start praying BIG. BIG, BIG, HUGE, MONSTER PRAYERS! People, we need 20 grand. Yes, as in 20,000 dollars. Yes, Chris and Tom have already done a great job at raising money, and grants will help, but my prayer is for the whole stinkin thing to be covered. And for it it happen NOW! Is it unrealistic? Yep, sure is. I'm not stupid. And I'm not delusional. I am frustrated however. Frustrated to a level that I didnt know I could reach. This isnt fair people. Its not fair for a family to long for a child like they have. Its not fair that my sister has to wait. Its not fair that they've literally had children ripped out of their arms and sent home. It's not fair and I'm sick of it. Yes, I know my God is sovereign, I know my Gods timing is perfect, I know that I (we) are to remain faithful...but I cannot help but be frustrated and want to know why. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ORPHANS AND SO MANY FAMILIES THAT WANT THEM?!!! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO DAMN HARD!??? I dont know that I'll ever understand this.

I'm throwing a tantrum and honestly, I dont care. Adoption is beautiful, but it can also be ugly. Today I'm feeling the ugly. I'm feeling it for my sister. This is the hard part about loving someone as much as I love her. What hurts her, hurts me, and vice versa. We cant always take the hurt away from each other, and that makes us hurt even more.

All this to say, we need help in brainstorming ideas on how to raise money. Anything you can think of, please post either on the blog, or on facebook.

Its either we laugh or....I dont feel like laughing today

Angie

well shoot

Soooo.....apparently blogspot does not condone people click click clickin on ads to generate income. so they disabled our ads. It was a nice thought at least. bummer

Switching Laundry

I had a dream the other night. In it, for some odd reason, Studly and I were getting divorced. I was dating a "new guy". What I remember of it, is me texting Studly saying, "We have to get back together. I'm sick of having to teach this guy all about me." This really got me thinking of just how well Studly and I know each other. Over the years, we have had our ups and downs, ins and outs. We have always said "divorce is not an option", yet there were times I was seriously considering it. Marriage is like that. Most days are good, some are bad, others are horrid. However, we stick it out. Seriously, who else out there knows which of the million pillows on our bed is the one I actually use? Who else knows that I have to have a fan AND a humidifier running every night regardless of temperature? Who else knows that the tips of Studlys eyelids turn pink when he's too tired? He knows that I hate running errands more than anything in this world, so he does them. I know he can scrape brains off of sidewalks, yet can't stomach dirty dishes, so I do them. He knows what's so funny about me asking him to switch the laundry. It's an inside joke I will let you in on. My husband can make ANYTHING peverse. Case in point "Hey Studly, would you switch the laundry?", I ask innocently. "I'll switch your laundry." he replies with a wink. "Hey Studly, will you take the garbage out?" "I'll take your garbage out" he says. Oh for Petes sake pervert! But it makes me laugh every time, and therefore, he ALWAYS says it. My point being, I can't imagine having to "retrain" another man. I can't imagine having to explain how I make my coffee, what my favorite soda is, what my job entails, or how I like to sleep. This man knows me better than I know myself. So it's easier to just work through the problems, than to have to start over. Besides, after almost 14 years of marriage, I am pretty glad he still likes to "switch the laundry. "

I love you Studly

It's either we laugh or....we sell our husbands to the lowest bidder.


Chrissy

Things I've said...

For awhile, I've been waiting on some "funny" material to blog about. It just hasnt come to me. Then yesterday I realized that my whole life is hysterical. Seriously funny stuff. I think I've become immune to my boys' antics and just accept them as normal, everyday life. I then started thinking of the things that I have said to my boys recently, and yes, I have plenty of material. So, here is a list of things that I have said to my children recently. I giggle to myself when I think about it now. I assure you, none of these are made up. And I'm quite sure you have said many of them to your own kids....maybe.

1. Abe is not a toy, he is a little boy!

2. Stop trying to climb out the window

3. Stop trying to climb in through the window

4. Dont throw the cat out the window! (I seriously need to replace my screens)

5. Keep that lightsaber in the car or you're going to hit someones car with it and that'll cost me money! (as he is waving his lightsaber out the window while I'm driving down 18th St.)

6. Stop licking your brothers head!

7. Okay, fine, but you boys at least have to put underwear on in the house

8. Stop playing with your tooshie, its not a toy!

9. Fine, you be Buzz, He'll be Woody, and I'll be the mom drinking in the corner!

10. Either put that cat down, or he's going to scratch out your eyeballs/scratch your face off/rip your arm off with his teeth/hunt you in your sleep.

11. Max is not a horsey (my sisters dog)

12. No, you cant go live with Aunt CeCe (Chrissy)

13. Stop trying to put underwear on the cat!

14. Either sit and eat that food or I'm going to superglue your butt to the chair; and then you'll walk around with chairbutt and everyone will laugh at you. (I've had to get creative with my threats)

15. I'm not sure Aunt Chrissy wants to name her Haiti baby "Puddin"

16. No, you cant go live with Mamaw Miller either

17. its not polite to fart in church

18. You boys better leave your dad alone, he's at his breaking point

19. If I hear you talk like that to your brother again, I'm going to rip your tongue out of your head!

20. No, we cant go buy bean seeds to you can grow a beanstalk and visit the giant

21. No, I don't think Jesus is at the end of the beanstalk either

22. Stop trying to pee on your brother!


These are the ones I cant think of just off the top of my head. I love these crazy, wild, unpredictable boys. Yes, there are days when I seriously consider running away, but I know that I'd come back :)

Its either we laugh....or we sell our boys to the gypsies!

Angie

Interview with Kaya Bug

1. What is your favorite color? --My favorite color is Liberty Green (um...what?)

2. What is your favorite animal besides your cousin?-- All animals. I like geckos

3. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?-- Japan so I could see Shammie, Autumn, and Savannah

4. What is your favorite food?-- Fall off the bone Texas Roadhouse ribs

5. Who is your favorite....mommy or daddy?-- Oh gosh, mom, that's not nice.

6. What is your favorite tv show?-- What are the shows I watch mom? oh gosh, um, Amazing World of Gumball

7. What is your favorite past time?-- write stories, draw horses, listen to my Ipod

8. Who is your best friend?-- Emma Dorton and Eli

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?-- A Marine Biologist

10. Which one of your 2 million pets is your favorite?-- Max the dog

11. What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?- "when i was at school, my best friend, um, she um, she dropped her milk and it went all the way down my pants. And I had to go to the office, and, the first graders just got in from recess so they were at the watering fountains. And I had to walk past them. And one whispered to the other, look at the 3rd grader, she peed her pants. " ( she tells this story with a bright red face)

12. Do you want to have kids when you grow up?-- I want 20 of them. (that's MY girl)

The front lines of adoption

Ever since our hearts were directed towards Haiti for adoption, my mind has just been reeling. It is a hurry up and wait game. A few things have really hit me hard the last week or so. The main one being that my heart just BREAKS for the families in Haiti. It is one of the poorest countries in the world. In order for me to adopt a child there, tragedy has to take place. Such as, a baby loses it's mother, either by death or by just straight despair. These families are having to make the choice to place their children for adoption so the child has a chance to even survive. So many times it's not that they find themselves in a crisis pregnancy, it's that they find themselves not able to feed themselves, let alone their child. So they take their child to the orphanage in the hopes that they will be adopted by someone who can feed them, care for them, and love them. My heart just breaks for the people of this country. In the case of baby Alvarez, he has his shot records, he is healthy, he is not malnourished. Any one of these things is rare, all 3 are practically unheard of. No one knows for sure what happened to his mom, but chances are she died, and his dad can't take care of him. This just breaks my heart. This little guy is loved and cherished by his biological family, but they can't take care of him. This type of story is not unusual in Haiti. I may have to go through red tape, spend a ton of money, and ache to hold them, but in the end I get a child. It's all happy day for me. The real sacrifice is not for me, it is for them. I can only hope that I can give these kids a life that their parents deem worthy. I have found myself praying more for the families of these kids, and the kids, than for myself. This is the reality of adoption. God does not allow births of children for the soul purpose of adoption. What God does is make beauty from ashes. What Satan intended for evil, God has made good. God takes these children and holds them, and stirs our hearts to adopt them.


We have sent an email to the agency to let them know that we are going forward with all of this and to expect our application this week. Once the application is accepted, we move on to step 2. If you all want to take a look at what our process is, go to this website. www.haitianadoption.org
Please continue to pray for our adoption, and even more so, for the people of Haiti.

Lead us Lord,

chrissy

Ninevah

Twin did an adoption blog last week, so now it's my turn. Let me tell you our story. It's lengthy, so hang in there with me. I married the love of my life in May of 1998. I was all of 20 years old. I couldn't wait to marry this man, have our own place, and most of all, start a family. It has ALWAYS been my hearts number 1 desire to have a million kids. Ok, maybe not a million, but several at least. Once we decided to start the family, I was soooo stoked. Time went on, more time, more time....still no baby. After a few years, it was obvious to us that this was not going to be easy, but I still had the hope of "some day" During this time, we were given the opportunity, no, blessing of adopting our daughter Micaiah. We had no idea where our family was going, but felt that beyond a doubt, this is what God wanted us to do. On September 22, 2002, our little girl came into the world. I was in the delivery room, Tom was right outside waiting. It was seriously the best day ever! We had no idea that it would take 3 1/2 years for her adoption to be finalized. I fought for that baby harder than any person should have to. 3 1/2 years of not knowing what was going to happen with her. 3 1/2 years of worry, heartache, waiting, etc. I will not go into details as to why this took so long. She was always with us, always ours. On March 14, 2005, she finally was "offically" ours. Tom and I both agree, our wedding, her birth, and her adoption day, are the 3 highlights of our lives together. During this time, we also were informed that biological children were not in the plans for us. Again, I do not wish to give personal details as to why. We have gone through all the stages of grief when it comes to this. I still do not undersand why. I may never know. Why would God put such a desire in my heart for children, and yet make it so it's not possible for Tom and I to have them. I have NEVER wanted anything more. Just lots of kids. No big house, no big career, no fancy car. Just my Tom and kids. My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me, aside from Tom. However,, I still have the ache of wanting more kids. I was meant to be a mom. Tom and I decided to go into foster care. My sister was able to adopt 2 kids out of foster care. Surely we would be able to. We had some kids come to our house, I loved them. Then came little Antwon. I FELL IN LOVE. Head over heels in love with this little guy. He was with us for 9 months, then suddenly gone. Just poof, gone. I thought for sure that he was to be ours. It took a long, long time to move on from him. After he left, we knew for sure that we could not continue with foster care. So what....what God. Why God? Why me? So many people have kids without even trying, why not me? I don't know. I don't have answers. What I know is that I serve a God who loves me. A God who has saved me. Who is righteous and just even when we don't understand. So.....fast forward a few years. We have considered adoption for a number of years, just didn't know if we "had it in us" to go at it again. We let an adoption consultant know that we were open to it, just taking it slow. We were approached concerning a baby that was to be born in October. Birth mom abused alcohol and cocaine during pregnancy, oh, and is HIV positive. Would we consider? Uh...what? seriously? Who would possibly say yes to this? yeah....you know we did. Of course we would take this baby. So, just as fast as we could, we raised money for the adoption. We applied for grants, sold T-shirts, held a garage sale. We were blessed to raise almost $3,000 in 6 weeks. So blessed we had no doubt that this was the Lords will. With a matching grant, we were almost to the $10, 000 we needed to adopt this little one. Baby was to be born in October. We got ready. We applied for FMLA from work, told the family, started collecting baby items. Every single day, just WAITING for the call to drive to Florida and pick up our little one. Now I had my answer! God needed me to adopt this baby, THAT'S why he made it so we couldn't have kids. September came and went.....October came and went. No call. At the end of October we were informed that birth mommy had essentially fallen off the face of the earth. No baby, no mad dash to Florida. What? Seriously? What? Again? WHY? WHY? WHY? I don't know. I don't know why. What I know is that I still serve a God who loves me. A God who has a plan, I just don't know what it is. All I can do is trust him. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. A friend of mine traveled to Haiti. She posted on her facebook that a baby had been abandoned at the orphange where she was volunteering. I saw this post and thought how horrible it is and poor baby and please God find this baby a home. This friend approached my sister and asked if we were still interested in adopting. Of course we are. Which leads us to today. Yes....we are attemtping an adoption from Haiti. Haiti? seriously? Haiti? God...you want me to GO TO HAITI? It's called HAITI for a REASON God! God...do you KNOW how expensive that is? God...do you KNOW how long that takes? Really? HAITI! Yes......Haiti. OK! Here we go. It's with a VERY VERY SCARED heart, and a whole mind of unknowns that I let you all know that this is what we are doing. It is a lot of money. It is a lot of time. The average adoption takes 18-24 months. We have been told that we can do it in 18 months or less since we don't have any biological children. There is the one boy that we want. The one that was abandoned. He is gorgeous. He's 6 months old. His name is Alvarez. However, we were told yesterday that we may not get him exactly. Apparently the adoption agency has a waiting list for little ones and it's pretty much first come, first serve. I feel very strongly that even if we don't get Alvarez, per se, maybe he is just being used to gear us towards Haiti. Maybe there is another baby that we are meant for, and God needed to use Alvarez for us to say yes. Don't get me wrong, Alvarez WILL have a family. It just may not be us, as much as I want it to be. Sooooooo......what can you do to help? pray. PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY. This is a HUGE task. Pray we can raise the money, pray that all the paperwork will go through, pray for the safety of all the kids in Haiti. It is a beautiful country with beautiful people. They need so much. I will keep the blog updated as to the happenings of the adoption. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. And if someone wants to cut us a huge fat check, we would be willing to take that off your hands. :) Lead us Lord.


Chrissy

James 1:27---yep, its time for THAT blog

Ok, , well, this is going to be a lengthy one. I've been putting off writing on this particular subject, because honestly, I have a lot to say and dont usually have the time to type it all out. This morning finds me in a mood to chat about it, and my house is already clean for the most part, so I have a bit of time. For all of you mommas out there, you can be sure that it'll probably take me all morning as I'll have to type between snack time, wrestle-mania, and dirty diapers. Wheres Abe???? lol

Ok, here we go. Those of you that know me (this is Angie, btw), know my heart. I wear it on my sleeve most times; so this long post should not come as a surprise. I've been asked by multiple people to blog about it, but had to wait for the "feeling" to come. Adoption. Oh, my sweet adoption. The very word makes me teary eyed, I'm not even kidding. If I can get through this post without getting carpal tunnel, it'll be a miracle. I'm finding adoption all around me this week. A dear friend of my sisters just flew to Utah on Monday to meet their new baby girl. How sweet is that?? How unbelievably miraculous is that? That their daughter was born in Utah when they live in Indiana. I have another friend whos daughter is in India. INDIA!!!!!! Now, how in the world did that happen????? Their daughter is in India, yet they live in Lafayette. I promise you, the God that rose from the dead, can create your children where He pleases. He can do it!!!! And He can and will lead you to them if you are willing. Ok, getting ahead of myself a bit.

Well, its no surprise to anybody that looks at my family, that we have adopted. Most people can take an educated guess that our Anthony didn't come from my womb. But, neither did Elijah. He's the "not so obviously adopted" one. hahahaha I'll tell you this, I didn't want to go down that path. People, I DID NOT WANT TO!!!!! And I shame myself for that. Andy and I were married in 1999. By 2000, we wanted to start a family. 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004............no kids. I knew before we were even married that it might be difficult, but I didnt know it would be impossible. Thats what we were told. YOU WILL NOT HAVE BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN. I cannot express my feelings about that time. I just cant put it into words. You want to talk about cursing the God that made me???? Oh yeah I did. Andy and I had KNEW that we were supposed to be parents. So, what gives??? We started looking into adoption. Ugh. yeah, ok, sure, we can afford that. My family had mentioned fostercare off and on, but no way were we going to do that. How would we give them back??? Nope, not gonna do it. Time passed, no kids. Time passed, no kids. My mom came to me one afternoon. She had gone to a conference that day, and sat beside a lady that just happened to work at the Department of Child Services. Mom asked if I had thought about foster care much. I told her I would at least give the lady a call.

I'm going to save my foster care blog for another time, as foster care and adoption are two separate passions of mine. SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED FORWARD! March 28, 2005, our son was brought to us. OUR SON!!!!! Our little boy, our answered prayers. Oh my Eli...how I fell for those blue eyes the moment I saw him. Little 19 month old Eli. SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD FORWARD...October 16, 2006, Elijahs adoption was finalized. We honestly considered stopping there. We had had some other fosters, and honestly, we were a bit exhausted. However, our Father in heaven knew better. 3 days later, we get the call for a 7 week old African American baby boy. Oh, my Anthony. My sweet cocoa bean. This little baby who we thought we would only have for a very short time became "official" son number 2 on March 24, 2008. BIG SHOUT OUT TO SCOTT HODSON AND RICH ASHCRAFT! (its amazing who God sends into your child's life before you even know your child) These men played an important role in my sons life before I'd even met Anthony.

Heres the thing about adoption that some people dont understand. These boys are OURS. They are ours in every sense of the word. How can they not be ours?!!! I would be lying if I said that it happens immediately. No, it doesnt. It does take some time for the "feeling" to come. Nurse a child through a sickness, and see how you feel about that child after. Have a child in your home for months, and provide everything for them, and see how you feel. These boys came from another womb, yet they are OURS. I was once told "I dont think I could raise someone elses kid". Ok, people, DONT EVER SAY THAT!!!!! Which brings me to my list of "What not to say" I'm not making this list to be condescending, rather, to educate and hopefully inspire some of you people out there.

What NOT to say to an adoptive family

1. Oh, do you have any of your own children (own may be substituted with "real")---nope, no real children, just these imaginary ones I conjured out of air. Again, these children are ours. If you must ask, use "biological".

2. Were you not able to have kids? ....intensely personal question ALERT!!! Depending on who is doing the asking and under what circumstance. If I'm talking about adoption, sharing my story or whatnot, then yes, it is ok to ask me. If you're someone I just met...no, dont ask that. Would you go right up to a mother of twins and ask "oh, did you use fertility drugs to get your twins?" Uhhh, no, you wouldnt.

3. How do you raise a child thats a different race than you, I dont think I could do that.......I love answering this question, because honestly, its nuts to ask. How do we raise Anthony? Well, you know, we feed him sticks and leaves and beat bongo drums every night to get him to sleep. A child is a child, is a child, is a child. We raise Anthony the same way we raise our pale boys. hehehe Now, I'm not naive enough not to know that Anthony may have to deal with different things that my other boys wont have to deal with, but we'll cross that bridge (and that blog) another time.

4. How much did you pay for your boys?.......a million bucks. yep, we are secret millionaires. Again, this question is fine to ask if we are in a discussion about different kinds of adoptions, but I've had people start the conversation with this. Start the conversation, THEN ask that question.

5. Oooh, you adopted out of foster care, whats the scoop on that? Were his parents druggies? Was he abused? and so on. ...........This is where I'm going to really educate people. DO NOT ASK THIS IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!! Dont do it. I beg of you, dont do it. My boys are young, and honestly, they dont quite know the specifics of THEIR stories yet. But one day, they will ask, and Andy and I will judge on how much to share with them at what time. Their stories are heavy, but they are THEIR stories. I have to admit, I wasnt always so diligent about keeping it quiet. I blame my own ignorance on that. My boys know that they are adopted. We have never kept it a secret from them. We have "adoption parties" every year (similar to a birthday party)

6. You know you had biological children because God rewarded you for taking in the unwanted......yes, this has been said to me on more than one occasion. People, that is not how our God works. I dont deserve these kids. All I deserve is a hot corner of hell. But for the grace of God. There are a handful of times when I've been able to see Gods reasoning in pain. This is my biggest one. Had I not had the pain of infertility, I wouldnt have my precious Elijah and Anthony. I wouldnt. And, again, I shame myself for that.

These are just a handful of things that have been said or asked of us. I just want to tell you all this....Adopted children are special. Their births and lives are just as special (if not more so) than biological kids.

Why Adopt??? My question to you is....why not? Why not?????
Adoption is God ordained

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27

Adoption is Holy

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.

Psalms 68:5-6

It is Gods plan

But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

Galatians 4:4-6

Do justice!

You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.

Psalms 10:14,17-18

Listen to the Spirit calling you

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Romans 8:14-16

These children need you, and they need to know God

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

Matthew 18:5

Let me assure you, should you go forward with adoption, its not going to be easy. Its not. I firmly believe that Satan would love nothing more than to have these orphans suffer. The enemy does NOT want Christians adopting children, because he knows that we will teach these children about Christ. We will teach them about Christ and they will become mighty warriors. I look at my boys' lives, and I am reminded of Joseph. "What you meant for evil, God meant for good"

I urge any young couple out there, include adoption in your marriage plans. Start early so that when the times comes, you are prepared. For those of you that already have your family, can you have one more? Can you open your home to one more? I promise you, you already have room in your heart. Yes, I know its expensive. Believe me, I know. However, I think thats Satans biggest lie that he whispers in our ear. "You cant afford that kid, are you nuts? Its so much work, just be happy with the ones you have" DONT LISTEN TO HIM! Think about it, talk about it, PRAY ABOUT IT, and the doors will open. It wont be easy, but it will be worth it.

Its either we laugh or.....we adopt.

Blessings to all who read this. I pray a special blessing upon those that have already felt the call to adopt, but have not acted on it yet. I know you are out there, and this letter is to you. Lord open the floodgates for these people!!!!! Make it completely obvious to them that they are to adopt! Lord, set the bushes on FIRE and speak to these people!

Angie

What I wanted to say......what I should have said

Last week we said good-bye to my funny, sweet, gorgeous, beautiful sister and nieces. They will be moving to Japan for four LOOONNG years. When they get back,my nieces will be 20, 17, and 16. We tried to talk to them before they left about being careful, staying away from boys and the like. What I really wanted to say, meant to say, should have said, is this

---Boys are awesome in that they will eventually turn into men who will care for you, provide for you, become your husbands, and the father of your children. UNTIL THEN, they are boys and not worth crying over, losing your parents trust over, losing sleep over. They will tell you what you want to hear, show you what you want to see, and do WHATEVER it is they have to do in order to get past "first base" with you. 99.9 % of boys under the age of 20 cannot be trusted with you. You are beautiful, gorgeous even. DO NOT SETTLE for less than the best. And the best would NEVER require you to lose that which is most precious to you for them. Your testimony, your purity, you future are NOT WORTH losing over a simple boy. Let them take you to dinner, to the movies, to church, and then give them a hug goodnight. You all have way too much talent, passion, and love to give to waste it on some simple boy. You wait 'till you got a MAN!

--- Your mom and dad are seriously some of the best parents I have ever had the luck of knowing. Yes, they seem like they just want to ruin your lives. I get that. They don't. They, as many of us, made mistakes when younger and they do NOT want to see you do the same. They tell you no for a reason. You will "get it" when you have the maturity to see it from the other side. LISTEN TO THEM! They are not just saying things to tick you off. They say things to help prevent all sorts of evils from happening to their girls. They have been there, done that. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN to them.

---If you ever touch a cigarette or drugs I will personally beat you down. Seriously, the addiction is SO NOT WORTH IT. You won't look cool, or mature, you will look like a moron and stink like an ashtray. That is SO NOT CUTE! There are many of us who battle these addicitons that wish EVERY DAY that they didn't even start.

----GET YOUR DEGREE! BACHELORS BEFORE BABIES! Your education is something that can NEVER be taken away from you. Go to school, get that degree. Even if you find a man that has a job that will allow you to stay home and raise babies, you will always have that degree to fall back on if he were to lose his job, or God forbid, leave. Your degree will give you independence to do what YOU want to do.

---I love you. I love you, love you, love you like you're my own girls. I miss you. Lord do I worry about you. You are such awesome, beatiful, smart, God filled girls. Me and Aunt Angie are ALWAYS here for you. Even, especially, when you do something stupid. Please call us so we can either laugh at you, bail you out, or kick your butt.

You either laugh or worry yourself sick over the young girls in your life.

We love you sweet girls.

Aunt Chrissy


Ok, well, now its my turn. What I wanted to say and what I meant to say....and we'll see if I can get through this without bawling my eyes out.

Alright girls....when it comes to boys, STAY AWAY!!!!!!! As your aunts, you may think we are older than dirt, however, it honestly wasnt that long ago that we were in your shoes. So anxious to be older, more mature, to be dating, engaged, married, whatever. So heres my best advice. Dont date. seriously. dont do it for a LONNNNNGGGG time (Samantha, are you listening?) You girls are beyond gorgeous, and any boy would be lucky to have you...however...they cant have you. Nope, they cant. Because, right now, you belong to your parents. EWWWWWWWWW yes, yes I know. But, believe me when I tell you, that you have the very best parents a teenage, pre-teen, girl could ask for. They care about where you are, who you are talking to, what your character is, how you are dressed. Look around girls, those girls that you see that are dressed like whores???? their parents dont care about them. They are dressed like that so that they can find a boy that will fill the hole in their lives left by uncaring parents. Thing is...no boy can. A man can, but you cant have a man at your age. Take this time to spend with your family. You wont believe how much you miss this time when you are older.

Ok, next, DONT BE STUPID!!!! Remember, you are in a foreign country! You are not in the U.S. and therefore do not have the freedoms that we enjoy here! You do not have the luxury to "let your guard down" until your parents say you can. Just because a boy (or group of girls for that matter) seem nice, it doesnt mean you just hop in the car with them, or go for a walk with them. I did some seriously stupid stuff when I was younger, and it was only by the grace of God that I wasnt damaged permanently.

Next...get your college degree!!!!! This goes more for Sammy right now than Nanna or Autumn. Sam--get that degree! You will never regret it! I dont have many regrets, but one of my biggest is not getting my bachelors. There were several reasons why I didnt, not just Uncle Andy. I will tell you that I have missed promotions and not even been considered for jobs because I dont have my bachelors. And now I have a million kids and going back to school is the LAST thing I need to be doing.

My beautiful nieces, I love you to the moon and back. I wish I could give you big hugs right before you get on that plane. I miss you terribly already.

To Kim, I just dont have the words. I love you, my other twin. Take care of my sweet nieces, and kick them in the rear for me.

Ang

Fun with the Family!

Oh mercy....the last 24 hours have been a hoot! We started it off by heading to Dave and Busters in Indy with mom, Kim, Gina, and the supertwins! What's Dave and Busters? It's Chuck-E-Cheese for adults. SO.MUCH.FUN! Great food, awesome games, goofy prizes, yummy drinks....it's like heaven.

Today we hung out, took naps, and then we all headed to the shooting range. This was Kim and Sammies first time shooting which was a riot!!!!!

the blondies are cute but they will RIP YOU UP!




We either laugh or drink till we do :)

Its your turn!!!!!!

Hello out there in bloggy blog land!!!!! Well, I've been trying to think of something to blog about, and I'm having a rough time. So, we would like to hear from YOU!!!!!!!! YES YOU!!!!! Sitting there with your hand on the mouse. What would you like "Twinnified"? What would you like to know about us? What can we put a "Twin spin" on? Let us know!!! Either reply to this post, or post in on facebook. Looking forward to hearing from you!


Ang

random thoughts

pure boredom
my patient refuses to sleep
can't diagnose sleep apnea without sleep
Me and twin are in different labs tonight. It has messed up the flow of the world and the snow and ice gods are cursing us. We will be sleeping in the lab tomorrow as to not risk or lives driving home and then back again. This does not make me happy. I would much rather go home and sleep with the hubby.
My princess is at yet another birthday/slumber party tonight. I'm sure she is still awake. I love that girl.
I ate french fries today. So totally against the diet, yet, somehow the night just called for it.
I have a salad for later to make up for the french fries :)
I'm on my 4th cup of coffee for the night. Good luck sleeping for me tomorrow.
My Studly is working tonight too. We keep emailing stupid comments to each other to keep us awake.
My sister Kimmy is coming to visit next week. It will be the last time for 4 years since she thinks its a GREAT idea to move to Japan. haha
I have considered moving to Japan myself. :)
That's all for now.
It's either we laugh.....or we fall asleep in the sleep lab.

twin rules and regulations

Just some rules and regulations to know when dealing with the Supertwins

--Anything said to us personally WILL be shared with the other twin. Don't even think about saying "don't tell your twin, but..." we will be on the phone with each other as soon as you walk outta the room. This rule does not apply to christmas presents, our mom, or our sister Kim 'cause you don't wanna be on their bad side.

--No, you cannot be the "honorary triplet" Through the years we have had MANY friends that took this title. Admit it people, you just can't "hang" with da twins.

--Do not even THINK you will be friends with one of us and not the other. We are a package deal. Think of it as two for one. And if my twin doesn't like you, chances are I won't soon either.

--You wanna mess with me? Mess with my twin. I can handle all the beat downs in the world, but don't you DARE go after her. I will hurt you in 101 ways, 100 of which you won't like.

--If you and I have plans, and then my twin needs something, then sorry, you are outta luck. That's just how we roll.

--Don't think you're being clever by suggesting that our two families move into one house to save on time and gas mileage. The only thing stopping us are our husbands.

--No, we do not have "twin intuition" This is the stupidest thing in the world. However, I know what she is thinking, saying, feeling, by taking one look at her. If she gives me a little shrug in your presence, she doesn't like you.

--If you criticize her kids, I will cut you. I am their second mommy, for real.

--Yes, we share everything that happens to us with each other. EXCEPT intimate details of our marriage 'cause her husband is seriously like my brother and that is gross.

--Do not think you are complimenting one of us by saying we are "prettier, smarter, wiser" etc. than the other one. This is an insult. Your name will go on the list of people we make fun of.

--Don't ask us "What's it like being a twin?" Would you ask a non twin what it's like to not be a twin? Would you ask a female what it's like being a girl? This is, again, one of the stupidest questions you can ask a twin. And, yes, we pity you that you aren't a twin.

--Do not say "Wow, you don't look like twins, are you identical?" Wow, you really didn't look like a moron when I met you, but now you have proven me otherwise.

--My twin is perfect and pure in every way. Do not try to convince me otherwise. Again, I will hurt you.

Ok, those were Chris' rules of Twinhood...now its my turn to throw some in!!!!!

--as far as honorary triplet, that position has already been filled. Her name is Kim, and she helps us Twins make sense out of life. that, and she'll hurt us if we say the honorary triplet is someone else!!!

-- We talk about random subjects at random times..dont try and keep up. At the womens retreat, we filled a half hour talking about how we should build a fort and fill it with Little Debbies and nobody could come in unless they gave us Cheetos. (or if they were the Old Spice Guy)

--We plan on dying together, cuz we couldnt stand life without the other. We figure we'll die in some awesome fashion, and people will talk about for ages to come.

--Criticize my Twin, and I'll rip off your legs and make everyone call you "Scoots McGee". Oh, there goes Scoots McGee on his stumpy legs, he made fun of a Twin.

--One day we WILL buy property big enough to put two houses on. And we're going to build a big wall around it and dig a moat and fill it with alligators. You cant come in without the password and a bag of cheetos. (unless you're the Old Spice guy)


--We either laugh or we laugh behind your back.

blah

I've started and restarted this post about 6 times now, thinking of different topics. In all actuality, though, I'm just not feelin it tonight. To be honest tonight, i just don't understand people/life sometimes. Today we have just been shown that people, even people that are closest to us, can just be pure evil. The Bible tells us that revenge is of the Lord. Some days I just wanna help him along,though, and burn some houses down, kick some butt, put aresenic in the well etc. I don't get it. Maybe I am just not wired that way. My family is my life. My family is my heart, my world, and when someone attacks them, it is ON like donkey kong. You want to see the "human" side of me, mess with my family. I have moments when I could make a sailor blush. Am I proud of this? no That's called keepin it real. Luckily, I have a mom and 3 of my sisters that are my bestest friends. We "get" each other and know where our hearts are. I love you mommy Salami, Wein, Camper Jo, and Twinnie twin. hey, we either laugh.....or we go to Dave and Busters until we laugh.

love and marriage

I have been thinking about this all day. Why? Because I married the best man EVER. No really, I did, for today. haha Studly and I have been married for a bit over 13 years. They have not all been blissful, they have not all been horrid. They have all been a little bit of both. We've been through some crap and survived it, maybe for the better. I'm flighty, neurotic, live in a gray world, and love him. He's uptight, serious, all black and white, and hot...oh..and he loves me. We even each other out well. Over the years, I have loosened him up considerably, and he has forced me to keep my emotions in check. He lets me know when I need to raise hell, and I tell him when he needs to get the cob out. It works for us. Why? I don't know. When we got married, we had some friends tell us they were going to buy us a fruit basket for a wedding gift. Why a fruit basket? Because they were convinced the fruit basket would last longer than the marriage. Yeah, we're not friends any more. But it still makes me laugh. jerks Over the years, I have been told soooo many times " well you just wait 'till you've been married for ___ years, then you will be miserable. Still waiting for that time to come. Do I love him every day. Uh, no. Some days I want to hit him with a brick and send him home to his mommy. Some days he wants to sew my mouth shut and send me to the looney bin. However, it all comes full circle. I may love him today, despise him tomorrow, however, he's stuck with me. How do we do it? I don't know. We're lucky. Why does our marriage work and others don't? I don't know, we're blessed. What's the secret to a good marriage? If you ask my mom, it's sex. I agree 100%, but I'm sure there's more to it. I don't know what that is. However, for today, I love this man and I pray I still love him just as much 10, 20, 30 years from now. It's either we laugh.....or get divorced. Laughing is cheaper in the long run. :)

Remind me who I am....2012

"If I'm your beloved, can you help me believe it?
Tell me once again, who I am to you, who I am to you
Tell me lest I forget who I am to you, that I belong to you".

This wont be one of the traditional "Twin" posts. I'll try and throw some humor in here, but I have lots to chat about, so you'll just have to listen to my ramblings. My song for 2012 is "Remind me who I am", for so many reasons. I'll start with 2011. I dont have words for 2011. Easily the hardest year of my life, sans 1998 when I lost my dad. I dont especially want to rehash everything that happened in 2011, I'd rather tuck it away in my subconscious or save it for a therapy session or something. However, as I reflect on 2011, I have come to realize that along with all the heartbreak and stress and worry, I received an incredible amount of blessings. I honestly dont think I would have recognized the blessings, had it not been for the hurt.

So many things have changed in the past year, its mind blowing to me at times. Going through the hurt and despair that I had last year made me rely on God more than I ever have. I had to fully trust that His words were true, and very very real. My lead pastor said something to me last year, and I'll never forget it, because its completely changed how I view my relationship with God. He told me that God does not rule and run this world as if it were just a big chess game. He doesnt move this piece here, so that another piece can go there, and so on. Sometimes bad things happen solely because of the world we live in. (I'm paraphrasing what he said) Upon hearing this, and pondering it for awhile, it just really switched my way of thinking. Yes, God knows and cares about whats going on in our lives, but he's not directing all of it like some kind of huge traffic God. He knows life is hard, which is why He gave us all the handbook on how to handle this life!

Anyway, so back to "Remind me who I am". My goal for 2012 is to never lose sight of what our purpose is, remember who it is that I belong to, and further the kingdom of God. So many people want to know "why we are here". I dont have the complete answer to that, but I know that our goal as Christians is to help direct others to Him. My faith is so much stronger now than it was :) I dont worry nearly as much as I used to, because I know that its pointless. Why worry about tomorrow? Today, I have food, clothing, an awesome job, a fantastic smokin-hot hubby, and great kids. What more could I ask for? In 2012, my prayer for all of you is that you SLOW DOWN! Stop worrying!!!!!! When the hard times come, and I know that they are coming, HIT..YOUR...KNEES!

Its either we laugh or....we pray :)

Angie