I've had this blog idea bouncing around in my head for a number of days, so let's see if I can spit it out.
I firmly believe this world would be a much better place, if we all ran on the "Positive Reinforcement" model. Some examples would be-
"Excuse me, fine citizen. Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"No, fine officer, why is that?"
" Well, I saw that you were the only fine citizen not driving like a drunken monkey through the construction site. Here is a coupon for a free ice cream cone. *wink wink* Carry on fine citizen!"
At the doctors office-
"Well hello, fine patient of mine. I see that you walked in here with your severed head in a bag and didn't demand pain meds. Here, this is a script for loritab. Take two of them with a shot of vodka. Send yourself on a little mini- vacation without even leaving your living room."
As opposed to "Hello crack head patient of mine. I see you are demanding anxiety meds because your neighbors dog won't stop barking. Here, this is a script for "Suck it up sweetheart" and a gun permit. I think you know what to do."
At the school
"well hello fine parent. I see that you are the only parent who hasn't called to harass me about homework, lunches, my shoe size, and my middle name. Here is a free pass on having to sign the 400 parent forms that I will be sending home in the next 2 days."
" well thank you, fine teacher of my child."
Seriously, the world would be a much better place if they would only put anti-depressants in the water system like they do fluoride!
We either laugh or.......we shoot the neighbors dog.
yep, this is us
This is the most recent one of the two of us..Chris smiling, Angie looking neurotic
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
The right way....or else
Well, its been awhile since I've blogged about anything, but this morning finds me in quite the sarcastic mood, so hey, lets blog.
Anyone that has followed my facebook posts for any amount of time, knows that I absolutely HATE dropping my kids off at school (and picking them up). Hate it, abhor it, would rather spill my own blood than do it. Why? you may ask??? I'll explain it to you in the best way I know how....drumroll please....
The Right Way....When getting your child ready for school, before you put them in your vehicle, check to make sure they are fully dressed. Clothes, shoes, socks...not that hard. Make sure they have their backpack in order and fully zipped.
The Wrong Way...Throw your kid in the car in their pajamas and have them get dressed on the way to school. Put their backpack in the trunk with all the contents spilling out. Lock trunk, put padlock on trunk, sit elephant on trunk..drive to school like a bat out of hell.
The Right Way.....When placing your child in the vehicle, make sure they are sitting in the seat closest to the door that they will be exiting.
The Wrong Way....Stuff your kid under the seat, tie them down with chains
The Right Way...When entering the school lot, get into the drop-off lane and wait your turn. Slowly make your way up to the school.
The Wrong Way...screech into the parking lot, get into the left lane, bypass all the vehicles waiting their turn in the drop off lane, pull up to the school and completely stop traffic as your little angel weaves in-between cars to get to the door. Of course, if your little angel gets hit by a car, you would have the right to sue the snot out of the driver, the school, the corporation, the highway dept, and President Obama. It would have NOTHING to do with your negligence at all.
The Right Way...once you get up to the school door, have your kid unbuckle and hop out.
The Wrong Way...Once you get up to the school, YOU exit the vehicle, run around the car like a Japanese fire drill, unbuckle your kid that evidently cant do it themselves, talk to your kid, put their shoes on for them, knit them a sweater, recite the pledge, change the oil in your car....all the while ignore the people behind you that are waiting to leave.
If you are one of the parents that like to walk your child up to the school from the parking lot, then...
The Right Way...park your car in one of the designated parking spots. Walk to crosswalk. Wait for Principal to wave you through, pick up your kid.
The Wrong Way...park wherever you flippin feel like. Not a spot available, make your own. Better yet, park in the drop-off lane and then walk up to the school. Dont worry about the rest of us behind you, I assure you we have nothing better to do than to sit and wait on you. Go get your child, chatty chat with the teacher, give the principal an apple, reconstruct Noahs Ark out of toothpicks, learn a foreign language, then meander back to your car.
Exiting the parking lot....
The Right Way...wait your turn, drive about 3 mph, take RIGHT turn out of parking lot, drive slowly until you get out of the school zone.
The Wrong Way...peel out of your parking spot, flip off other parents, wedge your car sideways in the drop-off lane so that nobody can get around you, attempt to make LEFT hand turn around the orange barrels and cones, cause accident on 18th st (one of the busiest streets in Lafayette), cuss everyone out, sue the principal, the school, the corporation, the highway department, and President Obama.
People, my tolerance with this is VERY,VERY thin. I have an 8 passenger Suburban..it eats tiny cars for snacks and mini-vans for dinner. Cut me off again..I dare you.
Its either we laugh, or we....homeschool. hehehe
Angie
Anyone that has followed my facebook posts for any amount of time, knows that I absolutely HATE dropping my kids off at school (and picking them up). Hate it, abhor it, would rather spill my own blood than do it. Why? you may ask??? I'll explain it to you in the best way I know how....drumroll please....
The Right Way....When getting your child ready for school, before you put them in your vehicle, check to make sure they are fully dressed. Clothes, shoes, socks...not that hard. Make sure they have their backpack in order and fully zipped.
The Wrong Way...Throw your kid in the car in their pajamas and have them get dressed on the way to school. Put their backpack in the trunk with all the contents spilling out. Lock trunk, put padlock on trunk, sit elephant on trunk..drive to school like a bat out of hell.
The Right Way.....When placing your child in the vehicle, make sure they are sitting in the seat closest to the door that they will be exiting.
The Wrong Way....Stuff your kid under the seat, tie them down with chains
The Right Way...When entering the school lot, get into the drop-off lane and wait your turn. Slowly make your way up to the school.
The Wrong Way...screech into the parking lot, get into the left lane, bypass all the vehicles waiting their turn in the drop off lane, pull up to the school and completely stop traffic as your little angel weaves in-between cars to get to the door. Of course, if your little angel gets hit by a car, you would have the right to sue the snot out of the driver, the school, the corporation, the highway dept, and President Obama. It would have NOTHING to do with your negligence at all.
The Right Way...once you get up to the school door, have your kid unbuckle and hop out.
The Wrong Way...Once you get up to the school, YOU exit the vehicle, run around the car like a Japanese fire drill, unbuckle your kid that evidently cant do it themselves, talk to your kid, put their shoes on for them, knit them a sweater, recite the pledge, change the oil in your car....all the while ignore the people behind you that are waiting to leave.
If you are one of the parents that like to walk your child up to the school from the parking lot, then...
The Right Way...park your car in one of the designated parking spots. Walk to crosswalk. Wait for Principal to wave you through, pick up your kid.
The Wrong Way...park wherever you flippin feel like. Not a spot available, make your own. Better yet, park in the drop-off lane and then walk up to the school. Dont worry about the rest of us behind you, I assure you we have nothing better to do than to sit and wait on you. Go get your child, chatty chat with the teacher, give the principal an apple, reconstruct Noahs Ark out of toothpicks, learn a foreign language, then meander back to your car.
Exiting the parking lot....
The Right Way...wait your turn, drive about 3 mph, take RIGHT turn out of parking lot, drive slowly until you get out of the school zone.
The Wrong Way...peel out of your parking spot, flip off other parents, wedge your car sideways in the drop-off lane so that nobody can get around you, attempt to make LEFT hand turn around the orange barrels and cones, cause accident on 18th st (one of the busiest streets in Lafayette), cuss everyone out, sue the principal, the school, the corporation, the highway department, and President Obama.
People, my tolerance with this is VERY,VERY thin. I have an 8 passenger Suburban..it eats tiny cars for snacks and mini-vans for dinner. Cut me off again..I dare you.
Its either we laugh, or we....homeschool. hehehe
Angie
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