James 1:27---yep, its time for THAT blog

Ok, , well, this is going to be a lengthy one. I've been putting off writing on this particular subject, because honestly, I have a lot to say and dont usually have the time to type it all out. This morning finds me in a mood to chat about it, and my house is already clean for the most part, so I have a bit of time. For all of you mommas out there, you can be sure that it'll probably take me all morning as I'll have to type between snack time, wrestle-mania, and dirty diapers. Wheres Abe???? lol

Ok, here we go. Those of you that know me (this is Angie, btw), know my heart. I wear it on my sleeve most times; so this long post should not come as a surprise. I've been asked by multiple people to blog about it, but had to wait for the "feeling" to come. Adoption. Oh, my sweet adoption. The very word makes me teary eyed, I'm not even kidding. If I can get through this post without getting carpal tunnel, it'll be a miracle. I'm finding adoption all around me this week. A dear friend of my sisters just flew to Utah on Monday to meet their new baby girl. How sweet is that?? How unbelievably miraculous is that? That their daughter was born in Utah when they live in Indiana. I have another friend whos daughter is in India. INDIA!!!!!! Now, how in the world did that happen????? Their daughter is in India, yet they live in Lafayette. I promise you, the God that rose from the dead, can create your children where He pleases. He can do it!!!! And He can and will lead you to them if you are willing. Ok, getting ahead of myself a bit.

Well, its no surprise to anybody that looks at my family, that we have adopted. Most people can take an educated guess that our Anthony didn't come from my womb. But, neither did Elijah. He's the "not so obviously adopted" one. hahahaha I'll tell you this, I didn't want to go down that path. People, I DID NOT WANT TO!!!!! And I shame myself for that. Andy and I were married in 1999. By 2000, we wanted to start a family. 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004............no kids. I knew before we were even married that it might be difficult, but I didnt know it would be impossible. Thats what we were told. YOU WILL NOT HAVE BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN. I cannot express my feelings about that time. I just cant put it into words. You want to talk about cursing the God that made me???? Oh yeah I did. Andy and I had KNEW that we were supposed to be parents. So, what gives??? We started looking into adoption. Ugh. yeah, ok, sure, we can afford that. My family had mentioned fostercare off and on, but no way were we going to do that. How would we give them back??? Nope, not gonna do it. Time passed, no kids. Time passed, no kids. My mom came to me one afternoon. She had gone to a conference that day, and sat beside a lady that just happened to work at the Department of Child Services. Mom asked if I had thought about foster care much. I told her I would at least give the lady a call.

I'm going to save my foster care blog for another time, as foster care and adoption are two separate passions of mine. SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED FORWARD! March 28, 2005, our son was brought to us. OUR SON!!!!! Our little boy, our answered prayers. Oh my Eli...how I fell for those blue eyes the moment I saw him. Little 19 month old Eli. SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD FORWARD...October 16, 2006, Elijahs adoption was finalized. We honestly considered stopping there. We had had some other fosters, and honestly, we were a bit exhausted. However, our Father in heaven knew better. 3 days later, we get the call for a 7 week old African American baby boy. Oh, my Anthony. My sweet cocoa bean. This little baby who we thought we would only have for a very short time became "official" son number 2 on March 24, 2008. BIG SHOUT OUT TO SCOTT HODSON AND RICH ASHCRAFT! (its amazing who God sends into your child's life before you even know your child) These men played an important role in my sons life before I'd even met Anthony.

Heres the thing about adoption that some people dont understand. These boys are OURS. They are ours in every sense of the word. How can they not be ours?!!! I would be lying if I said that it happens immediately. No, it doesnt. It does take some time for the "feeling" to come. Nurse a child through a sickness, and see how you feel about that child after. Have a child in your home for months, and provide everything for them, and see how you feel. These boys came from another womb, yet they are OURS. I was once told "I dont think I could raise someone elses kid". Ok, people, DONT EVER SAY THAT!!!!! Which brings me to my list of "What not to say" I'm not making this list to be condescending, rather, to educate and hopefully inspire some of you people out there.

What NOT to say to an adoptive family

1. Oh, do you have any of your own children (own may be substituted with "real")---nope, no real children, just these imaginary ones I conjured out of air. Again, these children are ours. If you must ask, use "biological".

2. Were you not able to have kids? ....intensely personal question ALERT!!! Depending on who is doing the asking and under what circumstance. If I'm talking about adoption, sharing my story or whatnot, then yes, it is ok to ask me. If you're someone I just met...no, dont ask that. Would you go right up to a mother of twins and ask "oh, did you use fertility drugs to get your twins?" Uhhh, no, you wouldnt.

3. How do you raise a child thats a different race than you, I dont think I could do that.......I love answering this question, because honestly, its nuts to ask. How do we raise Anthony? Well, you know, we feed him sticks and leaves and beat bongo drums every night to get him to sleep. A child is a child, is a child, is a child. We raise Anthony the same way we raise our pale boys. hehehe Now, I'm not naive enough not to know that Anthony may have to deal with different things that my other boys wont have to deal with, but we'll cross that bridge (and that blog) another time.

4. How much did you pay for your boys?.......a million bucks. yep, we are secret millionaires. Again, this question is fine to ask if we are in a discussion about different kinds of adoptions, but I've had people start the conversation with this. Start the conversation, THEN ask that question.

5. Oooh, you adopted out of foster care, whats the scoop on that? Were his parents druggies? Was he abused? and so on. ...........This is where I'm going to really educate people. DO NOT ASK THIS IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!! Dont do it. I beg of you, dont do it. My boys are young, and honestly, they dont quite know the specifics of THEIR stories yet. But one day, they will ask, and Andy and I will judge on how much to share with them at what time. Their stories are heavy, but they are THEIR stories. I have to admit, I wasnt always so diligent about keeping it quiet. I blame my own ignorance on that. My boys know that they are adopted. We have never kept it a secret from them. We have "adoption parties" every year (similar to a birthday party)

6. You know you had biological children because God rewarded you for taking in the unwanted......yes, this has been said to me on more than one occasion. People, that is not how our God works. I dont deserve these kids. All I deserve is a hot corner of hell. But for the grace of God. There are a handful of times when I've been able to see Gods reasoning in pain. This is my biggest one. Had I not had the pain of infertility, I wouldnt have my precious Elijah and Anthony. I wouldnt. And, again, I shame myself for that.

These are just a handful of things that have been said or asked of us. I just want to tell you all this....Adopted children are special. Their births and lives are just as special (if not more so) than biological kids.

Why Adopt??? My question to you is....why not? Why not?????
Adoption is God ordained

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.

James 1:27

Adoption is Holy

Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families.

Psalms 68:5-6

It is Gods plan

But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.

Galatians 4:4-6

Do justice!

You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more.

Psalms 10:14,17-18

Listen to the Spirit calling you

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."

Romans 8:14-16

These children need you, and they need to know God

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me.

Matthew 18:5

Let me assure you, should you go forward with adoption, its not going to be easy. Its not. I firmly believe that Satan would love nothing more than to have these orphans suffer. The enemy does NOT want Christians adopting children, because he knows that we will teach these children about Christ. We will teach them about Christ and they will become mighty warriors. I look at my boys' lives, and I am reminded of Joseph. "What you meant for evil, God meant for good"

I urge any young couple out there, include adoption in your marriage plans. Start early so that when the times comes, you are prepared. For those of you that already have your family, can you have one more? Can you open your home to one more? I promise you, you already have room in your heart. Yes, I know its expensive. Believe me, I know. However, I think thats Satans biggest lie that he whispers in our ear. "You cant afford that kid, are you nuts? Its so much work, just be happy with the ones you have" DONT LISTEN TO HIM! Think about it, talk about it, PRAY ABOUT IT, and the doors will open. It wont be easy, but it will be worth it.

Its either we laugh or.....we adopt.

Blessings to all who read this. I pray a special blessing upon those that have already felt the call to adopt, but have not acted on it yet. I know you are out there, and this letter is to you. Lord open the floodgates for these people!!!!! Make it completely obvious to them that they are to adopt! Lord, set the bushes on FIRE and speak to these people!

Angie